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The Neckless Wonder
Mar. 18th, 2009 07:49 pmAgain, not to make fun of anyone here, because that’s not what this is for, but sometimes people make me wonder. Did she have plates in her neck welded together? Did she break her neck at some point? Her spine? Is there just too much fat to be able to turn her head? How the hell does she drive like that?! So many questions and no answers, because really… could you imagine walking up to a stranger that you see everyday leaving work and asking them “Excuse me, why are you a freak?” it doesn’t work for me.
Sometimes, when really bored, I make stories in my head about her. One that sticks out a lot is a broken robot in disguise, it’s neck joints too stiff to actually work. This woman, she walks with measured small steps, her arms wiggling her along. She’s a four by four, as in just as short as she is round. So as she waddled down the drive to her big old van, all I can see is C-3PO walking, arms curved in a mechanical Barbie stance, legs stiff and perfect steps as he trudges along to his next destination. Sure, maybe I also have robots on the brain, but it’s there, its how I see it.
In truth, she really has no neck with how she dresses and appears. Her face always forward, always having to wobble step three times to turn left or right when someone calls her. Her hair is thinning on top, but oddly long in back, curly with some kind of gunk in it to make it look forever in a state of “It’s still drying.” She’s always got on a bit too much make up like Mimi from Drew Carry, only she uses green and not blue. Her clothing seems to be anything that is easy to pull on and button up, though there have been occasions that I am sure her button up shirt was done wrong, because it was lopsided, which makes me wonder how long she went with it like that all day, how rude would it be to point that out, and if it was like that because she can’t look down.
No really, again let me ask, how does she drive?! Nooo, really, how? Because she can’t look over her shoulder or her side window. It kind of worries me, and yet the fact that she has been doing it for years now is impressive. I mean she must have some skills to do it like that.
Going back to the robot theory, I’ve also had horrible images of her in my mind of the rotund woman from The Nightmare Before Christmas who’s mouth is sewn shut? (I think it is, it might not be) she’s the ‘mother’ to the little creepy fat kid who’s eyes ARE sewn shut. For some reason, I get the Nightmare music in my head when I see her walking and when she is wearing a brownish or tanish color of some sort. Color me wrong, but I find it rather amusing. Intriguing really. She always did seem like she had no neck, that cartoon character. Maybe they are related?
I suppose it does seem I am picking on her in all of this. I don’t mean to, I just have so many questions about her. She’s a very nice seeming woman er… at times. There are a lot of times that she snaps at her co workers, so I definitely don’t talk to her. I am polite, wave, say good night, watch her ignore me, and thus I wonder “maybe she couldn’t see me, because I wasn’t in front of her.” Only to promptly feel bad for such a bad mental thought.
Oh well, I can’t help it.
Sometimes, when really bored, I make stories in my head about her. One that sticks out a lot is a broken robot in disguise, it’s neck joints too stiff to actually work. This woman, she walks with measured small steps, her arms wiggling her along. She’s a four by four, as in just as short as she is round. So as she waddled down the drive to her big old van, all I can see is C-3PO walking, arms curved in a mechanical Barbie stance, legs stiff and perfect steps as he trudges along to his next destination. Sure, maybe I also have robots on the brain, but it’s there, its how I see it.
In truth, she really has no neck with how she dresses and appears. Her face always forward, always having to wobble step three times to turn left or right when someone calls her. Her hair is thinning on top, but oddly long in back, curly with some kind of gunk in it to make it look forever in a state of “It’s still drying.” She’s always got on a bit too much make up like Mimi from Drew Carry, only she uses green and not blue. Her clothing seems to be anything that is easy to pull on and button up, though there have been occasions that I am sure her button up shirt was done wrong, because it was lopsided, which makes me wonder how long she went with it like that all day, how rude would it be to point that out, and if it was like that because she can’t look down.
No really, again let me ask, how does she drive?! Nooo, really, how? Because she can’t look over her shoulder or her side window. It kind of worries me, and yet the fact that she has been doing it for years now is impressive. I mean she must have some skills to do it like that.
Going back to the robot theory, I’ve also had horrible images of her in my mind of the rotund woman from The Nightmare Before Christmas who’s mouth is sewn shut? (I think it is, it might not be) she’s the ‘mother’ to the little creepy fat kid who’s eyes ARE sewn shut. For some reason, I get the Nightmare music in my head when I see her walking and when she is wearing a brownish or tanish color of some sort. Color me wrong, but I find it rather amusing. Intriguing really. She always did seem like she had no neck, that cartoon character. Maybe they are related?
I suppose it does seem I am picking on her in all of this. I don’t mean to, I just have so many questions about her. She’s a very nice seeming woman er… at times. There are a lot of times that she snaps at her co workers, so I definitely don’t talk to her. I am polite, wave, say good night, watch her ignore me, and thus I wonder “maybe she couldn’t see me, because I wasn’t in front of her.” Only to promptly feel bad for such a bad mental thought.
Oh well, I can’t help it.