![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
The Leopardess
Mar. 19th, 2009 06:47 pm“There are three types of fashion offences. One. Wear something that is offensive to you the wearer. Two. Wear something offensive to the viewer. Me? I’m an equal opportunity kind of guy. I’ll take a little of both and offend everyone at once. Fair is fair after all.” ~A very wise man
There was this woman today who stopped in at the welfare office next door to where I work. Talk about colorful. She had on bright yellow leggings, skin tight and offensive to the eyes. Her boots were of that nice old Go-go girl style? But made of about 7 different colors of batched work leather, but shiny too. She had on one of those short, short dresses, all in a small leopard print. Then to top all that off she had on a purple mini coat with yellow fur collar. The type that stops just under the breasts line, with the thick band of elastic, and really isn’t meant to be zipped up.
People, don’t wear those coats with mini dresses. At least not like that.
Not only did she wear this offensive monstrosity of purple, yellow and leopard, but she had one of those huge bohemian chic purses with the bamboo wooden handles (painted red) and the ‘tea cup poodle’ flopping out of it, going along for the ride. People, this poodle was died purple too. I wonder if she likes purple. Anyhow, I shit you not; it was a purple poodle in a purse. A leopard print bohemian purse with red bamboo handles. The only way this woman clashed MORE was that she was dripping in gold. Huge fist sized disk like medallion hoops from her ears, 4 or 12 gold chains around her neck, rings the size of a kittens head, and a gold discus belt to top it all off.
I’m not sure how to explain it. She looked as if she were dressed to stop traffic and make every head turn, which she did, though I am sure it wasn’t in the way she wished it to me. It was more a “Good GOD what is that!? Kill it!” kind of way, or so I felt. Now mind you, she stepped out of some Ford POC with expired tags, a beat to hell paint job, and I bet if I watched her leave it would bang and shoot out smoke. Just saying. She was striding her way into the welfare office, no doubt to pick up her check, or to fight for her check, because, well ma, those nails had to be filled soon! The hair extensions couldn’t be hidden under a hat for much longer! She had to have money.
Okay so maybe I am being a bit cynical about the welfare office and the people who go there. But I’ve been here for years, and when I see people coming in with the Mercedes Benz and the hummer (or the H2), it kind of pisses me off. At least this woman had the decency to come driving in to get her check IN a beater. Either way, she looked like she was dressed for the ghetto 9’s and ready to Roxanne the night away.
Not only was she offensive to the eyes in appearance, but as she walked it was an over done super model walk, one foot right in front of the other with a horse clomp step, the boobs bouncing all mating call like, as if trying to call in some of those old toothless men with the hooter call.
Really, I don’t know what it was about her. Nose in the air, walking into the welfare office like she owned the place. Funny, I wonder how she’s doing now, seeing as it’s hot today and they still have the heater on in there. I have this mental image of her attempt at perfect image melting, her hair falling out of it’s odd hold and make up running, dog panting in her sweaty little hands.
Why do people try to dress up like that to come beg for money? I can’t judge, maybe she’s just trying to dress for success or something, but really… it makes me wonder.
There was this woman today who stopped in at the welfare office next door to where I work. Talk about colorful. She had on bright yellow leggings, skin tight and offensive to the eyes. Her boots were of that nice old Go-go girl style? But made of about 7 different colors of batched work leather, but shiny too. She had on one of those short, short dresses, all in a small leopard print. Then to top all that off she had on a purple mini coat with yellow fur collar. The type that stops just under the breasts line, with the thick band of elastic, and really isn’t meant to be zipped up.
People, don’t wear those coats with mini dresses. At least not like that.
Not only did she wear this offensive monstrosity of purple, yellow and leopard, but she had one of those huge bohemian chic purses with the bamboo wooden handles (painted red) and the ‘tea cup poodle’ flopping out of it, going along for the ride. People, this poodle was died purple too. I wonder if she likes purple. Anyhow, I shit you not; it was a purple poodle in a purse. A leopard print bohemian purse with red bamboo handles. The only way this woman clashed MORE was that she was dripping in gold. Huge fist sized disk like medallion hoops from her ears, 4 or 12 gold chains around her neck, rings the size of a kittens head, and a gold discus belt to top it all off.
I’m not sure how to explain it. She looked as if she were dressed to stop traffic and make every head turn, which she did, though I am sure it wasn’t in the way she wished it to me. It was more a “Good GOD what is that!? Kill it!” kind of way, or so I felt. Now mind you, she stepped out of some Ford POC with expired tags, a beat to hell paint job, and I bet if I watched her leave it would bang and shoot out smoke. Just saying. She was striding her way into the welfare office, no doubt to pick up her check, or to fight for her check, because, well ma, those nails had to be filled soon! The hair extensions couldn’t be hidden under a hat for much longer! She had to have money.
Okay so maybe I am being a bit cynical about the welfare office and the people who go there. But I’ve been here for years, and when I see people coming in with the Mercedes Benz and the hummer (or the H2), it kind of pisses me off. At least this woman had the decency to come driving in to get her check IN a beater. Either way, she looked like she was dressed for the ghetto 9’s and ready to Roxanne the night away.
Not only was she offensive to the eyes in appearance, but as she walked it was an over done super model walk, one foot right in front of the other with a horse clomp step, the boobs bouncing all mating call like, as if trying to call in some of those old toothless men with the hooter call.
Really, I don’t know what it was about her. Nose in the air, walking into the welfare office like she owned the place. Funny, I wonder how she’s doing now, seeing as it’s hot today and they still have the heater on in there. I have this mental image of her attempt at perfect image melting, her hair falling out of it’s odd hold and make up running, dog panting in her sweaty little hands.
Why do people try to dress up like that to come beg for money? I can’t judge, maybe she’s just trying to dress for success or something, but really… it makes me wonder.